You Know You're A Whovian Because
by George Weasley's Ear
Summary: This is a series of lists of nerdy things people might do if they like Doctor Who. That rhymed! Os gwelwch yn dda ddarllen ac adolygu'r! That was Welsh!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I wish I did, but it all belongs to the BBC. Someday, I will be the head writer. I just haven't figured out how. Enjoy. :D

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You Know You're A Whovian Because:

If you hear a noise that sounds even remotely like the TARDIS (say, a car) you run over to the window and say 'Doctor! I knew you'd come for me!'

Bowties, fezzes, Stetsons, pirate hats, and bunk beds are cool. And you own all of them.

You always sing along to the DW theme song.

Youname all of your pets after DW characters. Ex. Rory the goldfish

You call most of your electronic devices "old girl" or "Sexy".

You constantly compare things to cricket.

Celery is a perfectly fine fashion accessory.

You check for Vashta Nerada before you walk through shadows.

You always bring a banana to a party.

If you meet someone with a baby, you tell them the baby prefers to be known as Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.

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A/N: Yeah, I know I'm not the first person to think of this. I wish I was, but there are so many Whovians on this site who make stuff like this. I hope you liked my take on the idea so far. I will have another chapter up soon, coz these are easy to write.


	2. Chapter 2

You know you're a Whovian because:

If Captain Jack Harkness is involved, there will be slash in some form. This is a scientifically proven fact. Anyone who attempts to deny it will be thrown into the Void.

You would like a Jelly Baby, but only if Tom Baker offers it to you.

Playing the recorder (badly) helps you think.

If you see a statue covering its eyes, you will not blink until you are several miles away.

If you hear something fall down and break, you will run to where it fell, yelling 'ACE!'

You are going to learn all forms of Gallifreyan if it kills you.

'K-9 did my homework perfectly, and then shot it with his laser' is a perfectly legitimate excuse.

You can't re-write history, not one line! But then again, time can be re-written.

You want to go to Cardiff just so you can stand where the TARDIS landed in Utopia.

You want to get a laser spanner, then go back in time so Emily Pankhurst can steal it. (Cheeky woman!)

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A/N: TaDa! Another one. There might be more up today coz I am obsessed with writing it. :D


	3. Chapter 3

You know you're a Whovian because:

When you go to the zoo, you call the rhinos Judoon.

If you visited Stonehenge, the first thing you would do is say 'Hello, Stonehenge!'

If you have glasses, you say you wear them because they make you look clever.

When someone tells you that Doctor Who is stupid, you scream 'EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!'

You could reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.

The Master has a rubbish beard.

The words you want to hear the most are 'I am the Doctor' or any variation of it.

You wish your house was dimensionally transcendental and could travel anywhere in time and space.

Nothing is _good_, but it is fantastic, brilliant, or molto bene.

You rather like cats, until you're threatened by one in a nurse's wimple.


	4. Chapter 4

You know you're a Whovian because:

Your ringtone is the TARDIS landing or the sonic screwdriver sound. (Mine's the sonic.)

You like Converse because the Tenth Doctor wore them. (Mine are purple.)

You even liked Paul McGann. (He's actually cool)

He's called the Doctor, not Doctor Who!

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Correct.

You only like to listen to Doctor Who related music. (This is true for me at the moment.)

Whenever Captain Jack is on Doctor Who, you yell 'BARROWMAN!' because David Tennant did that on Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

You cry when people don't get your DW references, and you have to explain the entire plot of the show from 1963 to the present. (This has happened to me, because it isn't as popular where I live. I don't do it justice.)

If you see a tall guy with curly hair, you say 'Oh my God! It's Tom Baker!'

Cat pins really are cooler than people think.


	5. Chapter 5

You know you're a Whovian because:

You want a robotic dog named K-9.

You call your best friend Pond. (She hates it.)

TARDIS blue is the best color_ ever_.

If someone freaks you out, you say: 'Oh dear! You almost gave me a _hearts _attack!'

You often tell people: 'You know you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just tried hotwiring the fragment links and superseding the binary something that I can't remember' at a million miles an hour.

If you hear someone say 'exterminate', you scream that the Daleks finally found you.

You look at a screwdriver and go 'Oooh, this could be a little more sonic.'

You will have the Tenth Doctor's coat if you don't already.

You think Sylvester McCoy is made of awesome. (He is.)

Even leather jackets seem cool to you. (Go Eccleston!)

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A/N: Goodness me, I haven't done an author's note in a while! I am very proud of how often I'm updating this. I know I should get back to some others, but I really don't want to at the moment. You could say I'm lazy. That would be true. :3


	6. Chapter 6

You know you're a Whovian because:

'I Am the Doctor' is an epic song to hum when you're doing random things, like tying your shoe.

You put up with even the stupidest plots, because who cares? It's Doctor Who.

You constantly look up the different actors from Doctor Who on Wikipedia. (Did you know that David Tennant's real last name is Macdonald?)

Guys with mustaches must be Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart. Yes, I know this is vague.

If you happen to read a fan-fic about the 10th Doctor, you read all of his dialogue out loud in an impression of him. (I am not ashamed to admit that I do this. My impression is pretty darn good, too.)

People who do not like the Cybermen will be deleted.

You want to buy a Colin Baker wig. (I really do want one…)

Mr. Potato Head is a Sontaran.

Time Lords do NOT look stupid in their robes. At least, that's what you tell the non-Whovians. In reality? Yeah, they totally do.

You want to steal Jelly Babies from someone's pocket and be like Romana.

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A/N: Aren't you proud of me, Fan Fiction? Two updates in two days. You have to admit that is good for me. I'm a fairly slow updater, so yeah. Thanks for all the fantastic reviews, by the way! They make me want to update, coz you guys are awesome!


	7. Chapter 7

You know you're a Whovian because:

You want to get a yellow car and call it Bessie.

You won't take aspirin because Time Lords are allergic to it.

Chameleon Circuit is the best band in the history of the universe.

If you see a pocket watch, you wonder if it contains a Time Lord consciousness.

Thursdays are boring.

You often tap the Master's drum beat while you're waiting in line or something.

You got the last Entertainment Weekly because Matt Smith was on the cover.

You wore your TARDIS shirt in honor of SatNERDday.

You read The Time Machine because Sylvester McCoy was reading it at the beginning of the Doctor Who movie.

When you leave your friends' houses after visiting them, you say 'I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back.' They will roll their eyes.

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A/N: Yes, another chapter. I am really dedicated to this, for some reason. Thanks to PotterheadWhovian7 for the ideas for reasons 7 and 8! :D


	8. Chapter 8

You know you're a Whovian because:

Hospitals creep you out. Also, they should have a little shop.

If you see the words 'Bad Wolf', you tell your friends that those words are still following you.

You constantly read Doctor Who fanfics.

Your desktop wallpaper is the TARDIS or something else Doctor Who related.

You like umbrellas and sweaters with question marks on them.

Manikins make you uneasy. (What if they come to life?)

You like badgers.

If your hair gets messed up, you call it the 'Tennant hair'.

You like Romans, especially if they're called Roranicus. (Not like they usually were, but still)

If something is called 'unsinkable', you plug your nose and go 'blub blub blub' as you pretend to sink underwater.

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A/N: I have updated again! Hope you enjoyed it! I'm not sure what number I'm going to stop this at. I was think of doing eleven chapters.


	9. Chapter 9

You know you're a Whovian because:

If your teachers ask what time is, or something, you say, 'people assume that time is a strict progression from cause to affect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey, wimey… stuff.'

If you meet someone named John Smith, you're like 'OHMYGODIT'STHEDOCTOR!'

You always dance at weddings, because there is nothing wrong with the arm dance.

Fish fingers and custard are good.

Pears are disgusting; you hate pears!

You tell everyone that you're a Time Lord/Lady.

If you see someone in a scarf, you ask them if the scarf was knitted Madame Nostradamus.

You look up pictures of Doctor Who stuff on Google if you get bored.

If you play an instrument, you try to learn Doctor Who music on it. (I can play I Am the Doctor on the flute. I'm not bad at it, actually.)

You watch anything related to Doctor Who that you can find on YouTube.

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A/N: Hello Humans, Time Lords, Silurians (Oops, sorry. _Homo Reptilia_!), Cybermen, Daleks, Autons, and any other species that I may have forgotten! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm probably going to stop this at eleven chapters, though it may be brought back by popular demand. Thanks for all the amazing reviews! You guy are awesome! :D


	10. Chapter 10

You know you're a Whovian because:

You're terrified of snowmen because they might eat you.

You say 'hello, Sweetie,' to everyone.

You don't like astronauts because you don't want them to shoot you.

You listen to every Doctor Who playlist you can find on YouTube.

You compare every crack you see to the crack in the universe.

When you forget something, you blame the Silence.

When the Ponds left, you only cried for the rest of your life

You tell people you owe Casanova a chicken.

You search for traces of the Doctor in history books.

You've thought about trying to make a soufflé like Oswin did.

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A/N: Hello random fan-fic readers! I know I haven't updated in a while, but I was compelled to write chapter 10, so I did. Probably one more chapter left after this. Chapter 11, yeeps! I hope I don't run out of ideas and just write the same thing over and over, coz that can happen. The good thing is, I have on my lucky fez of extreme coolness, so it most likely won't. The crack in the universe idea goes to PlushChrome, who mentioned it in their lovely review. Thank you person. :D Bye bye now, people! Things to do, planets to save. OK, no planets, but I wanted to quote Doctor Who...


	11. Chapter 11

You know you're a Whovian because:

You are always the first person to point out anyone with ginger hair.

If you get married, you want to have a Doctor Who themed wedding.

If someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, you simply say 'Spoilers!'

You sing Doctor Who music at random times and don't even realise you're doing it.

You always knock four times.

You don't have a favourite Doctor because you can't decide. Weeell, you might have one, but in that case you talk about him too much.

You check the sky every night, in case the TARDIS is there.

If someone annoys you, you yell 'Oi!' like Donna.

You like Doctor Whooves.

To cheer people up, you use all the positive quotes from Doctor Who you can think of.

You have a pair of 3D glasses like the tenth Doctor.

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A/N: Helo ddarllenwyr fanfiction! That was Welsh. I hope you liked this. I want to stop this at eleven, coz, you know, one for each Doctor and all that. But this chapter is different from the others. I won't tell you how, but let me know if you see it. Well, I have to go now. Hwyl fawr! (That means good bye in Welsh.)


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